Just Because Someone Carries it Well, Doesn’t Mean It Isn’t Heavy

As women of color, we often wear our strength like a badge of honor. We’re praised for our resilience, our ability to push through challenges, and our unwavering support for those around us. But behind that strength, there’s often a weight no one sees.

Society celebrates the “Strong Black Woman” — the one who holds it all together. While this strength can be empowering, it can also be isolating. The pressure to carry the emotional, mental, and physical burdens of life without complaint leaves little room for vulnerability. And just because we carry it well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.

The Invisible Load

Many of us are holding not only our own pain but also the unresolved wounds of those who came before us. Generational trauma, family expectations, and the unspoken rules of how we’re “supposed” to show up in the world add to the weight. The belief that we must endure it all without breaking can harm our mental and physical health.

Recognizing the Weight

Strength doesn’t mean we have to carry everything alone. It’s okay to pause, acknowledge what feels heavy, and ask for support. Therapy, journaling, and community care can provide the space to unpack what we’ve been holding. Resources like Therapy for Black Girls and The Loveland Foundation offer culturally competent support tailored to our unique experiences.

Redefining Strength

True strength is knowing when to let go. It’s choosing rest without guilt. It’s saying no without explanation. And it’s embracing the healing that comes from vulnerability. As the author bell hooks once said, “The wounds of our mothers are still with us, but so is their strength.”

So today, I invite you to ask yourself: What burden am I carrying that I can release? You don’t have to hold it all. Support is available, and healing is possible.

Today I release the need for perfection, and I will focus on what I need for today. We all have our backpacks that are filled with everything we collected along the way, but there are ways to lighten the load along the way.

You deserve to feel light again. If you would like to schedule an appointment with one of our therapists please contact us at info@findyourvoicecc.com. 

#FindYourVoice #TherapyForYou #EmotionalWellness #Evanstontherapist