The Importance of Self-Love as a Black Therapist and Mom

As a Black therapist and mother, self-love is not just a concept—it's a daily practice that fuels my well-being, effectiveness in my profession, and the quality of the relationship I have with my children. The journey to self-love is deeply intertwined with my identity, my work, and my role as a parent. It's something I work on constantly, and I want to share why it is so crucial for me and might be for others in similar spaces. I won’t lie to you all cultivating this awareness has been a journey that I will probably be on for the rest of my life.

Embracing My Identity

Being a Black woman, a therapist, and a mother means navigating spaces where representation is often lacking and where I face unique challenges. Self-love is the foundation that helps me embrace and celebrate my identity without compromise. It's about understanding that my worth is not determined by societal standards or systemic biases. It’s about acknowledging my own strengths and beauty, and not letting the external world dictate how I see myself.

Cultivating Resilience

Self-love gives me the resilience I need to face daily challenges. As a therapist, I encounter clients with diverse and sometimes deeply painful experiences. I need to be fully present and emotionally available, which requires a solid sense of self and a deep reservoir of inner strength. When I practice self-love, I build up that resilience, allowing me to approach my work with compassion and empathy without becoming overwhelmed.

Modeling Healthy Relationships

As a mom, my children look to me as a model for how to treat themselves and others. When I prioritize self-love, I teach them by example. I show them that self-care is not selfish but necessary for a balanced and fulfilling life. They see me making time for myself, setting healthy boundaries, and speaking kindly to myself. This modeling helps them develop their own sense of self-worth and respect.

In my work, I strive to create authentic connections with my clients. Self-love helps me approach these connections with honesty and vulnerability. It allows me to be my true self without pretense, fostering deeper and more meaningful therapeutic relationships. By embracing my own humanity and imperfections, I encourage my clients to do the same.

Self-love is not a luxury but a necessity in my roles as a Black therapist and mother. It allows me to navigate my identity with confidence, face the challenges of my profession, model healthy behavior for my children, and maintain a balanced life. It’s an ongoing journey, but one that I embrace wholeheartedly. To anyone juggling similar roles, I encourage you to make self-love a cornerstone of your life. It’s through this practice that we can truly thrive and inspire those around us. Lastly, self-love and self-care does not have to be expensive. I think we often think about getting manicures or pedicures, but it is much deeper than that. It can be dedicating time for therapy, talking walks, creating a ritual in the morning or evening before our children wake up, it can also be as simple as practicing self-compassion daily.

If you need help with developing tools to practice self-care or figure out what is getting in the way of self-care please contact me today for a free consultation or to schedule an appointment. 

Wishing you peace and self-compassion,

Tyler Jasper, LCPC

Learning to Listen, Speak, and Understand One's Nervous System

Listening to your nervous system starts with developing a keen awareness of your body's sensations. This practice, often referred to as interoception, involves paying attention to the internal cues your body sends. Here are some steps to enhance your listening skills:

1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Regular mindfulness practices can help you become more attuned to subtle changes in your body's state. Simple breathing exercises can calm the mind and enhance your ability to detect internal signals.

2. Body Scans: Performing a body scan involves mentally scanning your body from head to toe, noticing any areas of tension, discomfort, or unusual sensations. This practice can reveal patterns and areas that need attention.

3. Journaling: Keep a journal to note down how your body feels at different times of the day, during various activities, and in response to different emotions. Over time, patterns will emerge, providing deeper insights into how your nervous system reacts.

Once you learn to listen, the next step is to effectively communicate with your nervous system. This involves both soothing it during times of stress and stimulating it to maintain balance and resilience.

1. Breathing Techniques: Deep, slow breathing can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and reducing stress. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing or the 4-7-8 method are particularly effective.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and then slowly relaxing each muscle group. It helps reduce physical tension and signal to your nervous system that it's time to relax.

3. Positive Self-Talk: Your thoughts significantly influence your nervous system. Practice affirmations and positive self-talk to create a more supportive internal environment. Phrases like "I am safe" or "I can handle this" can be powerful.

Understanding your nervous system requires knowledge of its basic functions and how different factors influence it. Here's a quick overview:

1. Autonomic Nervous System (ANS): The ANS has two main branches—the sympathetic nervous system (SNS), which prepares the body for 'fight or flight' responses, and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which promotes 'rest and digest' activities. Balance between these systems is crucial for overall health.

2. Stress Responses: Acute stress triggers the SNS, leading to increased heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension. Chronic stress keeps the SNS activated, which can lead to various health issues. Understanding these responses helps in managing stress better.

3. Neuroplasticity: The nervous system is adaptable. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections. Engaging in new activities, learning, and mindfulness practices can enhance this adaptability.

Practical Applications

1. Regular Check-ins: Set aside time daily to check in with your body. How are you feeling physically? Emotionally? Mentally? These check-ins can be brief but should be consistent.

2. Healthy Lifestyle Choices: Nutrition, exercise, and sleep profoundly impact your nervous system. Prioritize a balanced diet, regular physical activity, and adequate rest.

3. Professional Guidance: Sometimes, working with a therapist or coach can help you better understand and manage your nervous system. Techniques like biofeedback, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and somatic experiencing can be beneficial.

Learning to listen, speak, and understand your nervous system is a journey that can lead to profound changes in your life. By becoming more attuned to your body's signals and responding to them effectively, you can cultivate a state of balance and resilience. This practice not only enhances your well-being but also empowers you to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and confidence. If you would like to learn more contact me today to schedule a 15 minute consultation.

The Healing Power of Rest: How It Can Heal Generational Trauma

In our fast-paced, modern world, the concept of rest often takes a backseat to productivity and achievement. We're encouraged to hustle, grind, and push ourselves to the limit in pursuit of success. However, amidst this relentless pursuit, we often overlook a powerful antidote to the stresses and traumas we carry – rest.

Rest isn't just about physical relaxation; it's a profound act of self-care that holds transformative potential, especially in healing generational trauma. Generational trauma refers to the emotional and psychological wounds passed down through generations, stemming from historical events like wars, colonization, slavery, or displacement. These experiences can leave lasting imprints on individuals and communities, shaping beliefs, behaviors, and even biological responses across generations.

Understanding Generational Trauma

Generational trauma manifests in various forms – from anxiety and depression to substance abuse and relational difficulties. It affects how individuals perceive themselves, others, and the world around them. Often, these patterns of distress are deeply ingrained, influencing family dynamics and societal interactions without conscious awareness.

The Role of Rest in Healing

Rest offers a counterbalance to the relentless activation of stress responses associated with generational trauma. Chronic stress can exacerbate the effects of generational trauma. Rest, whether through sleep, meditation, or leisure activities, reduces cortisol levels and activates the body's relaxation response. This, in turn, supports emotional regulation and enhances overall well-being. For me it is important that I recognize the impact to my nervous system when I do not make time for rest. Rest provides the space for introspection and emotional processing. It allows individuals to reflect on their experiences, make sense of their feelings, and integrate fragmented aspects of their identity and history. Generational trauma often perpetuates cycles of stress, overwhelm, and maladaptive coping mechanisms. Rest disrupts these cycles by promoting healthier habits and fostering adaptive responses to challenges.

Practical Steps Towards Restorative Rest

1. Mindful Practices: Incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine to cultivate present-moment awareness and reduce the impact of stress.

2. Sleep Hygiene: Establish a consistent sleep schedule and create a conducive environment for quality sleep.

3. Boundaries: This is a BIG one! Set boundaries to protect your time and energy, allowing for adequate rest and rejuvenation. 

4. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion and self-care rituals that honor your need for rest and healing. Starting a self-compassion practice can be so difficult in the beginning, but with practice and time it becomes easier. 

5. Seeking Support: Consider therapy or support groups that specialize in trauma-informed care to explore deeper healing. 

Conclusion

Rest is not merely an indulgence but a powerful tool for healing generational trauma. By prioritizing rest and self-care, individuals can begin to unravel the complex layers of inherited trauma, reclaim their sense of well-being, and foster resilience for themselves and future generations. Embrace the transformative potential of rest – it's not just a pause in the hustle but a path towards profound healing and empowerment. Incorporate rest into your life today, and witness its profound impact on your journey towards healing and well-being.

Contact me today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation.

New Beginnings: My First Blog Post

Welcome, to my humble corner of the internet! As I sit down to write my very first blog post, I find myself enveloped in a whirlwind of emotions – excitement, anticipation, a touch of nervousness, and above all, an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this opportunity to connect with you all.

Embarking on this blogging journey feels like stepping into an uncharted territory, where every keystroke has the potential to shape not only my own path but also resonate with the hearts and minds of those who stumble upon these words. This journey fills me with a sense of purpose and possibility.

New beginnings are a curious thing, aren't they? They hold within them the promise of transformation, of growth, and of endless possibilities waiting to unfold. Whether it's starting a new job, moving to a different city, or simply turning the page to a fresh chapter in life, there's something undeniably invigorating about the prospect of starting anew. 

But with new beginnings also come challenges – the fear of the unknown, the inevitable setbacks, and the occasional stumble along the way. Yet, it is in these moments of uncertainty that we discover our true strength and resilience, and it is through perseverance that we pave the way for greatness.

As I embark on this blogging journey, I invite you to join me in embracing the beauty of new beginnings – to revel in the excitement of charting unexplored territories, and to celebrate the small victories along the way.

Together, let us embark on this adventure with open hearts and curious minds, ready to explore, learn, and grow with each passing day. And who knows what wonders await us just beyond the horizon?

So here's to new beginnings – may they lead us to places we've only ever dreamed of, and may they remind us that the journey itself is just as important as the destination.

Thank you for joining me on this voyage into the unknown. I can't wait to see where it takes us.

Until next time let your light shine greatly!